I read your story. Wow! I apologize in advance if I am overstepping here, but you and your husband are both doing too much. Although RA (or any chronic illness) can affect others around you, both you and your husband would be overloaded even if you were both healthy. The amount of hours you and your husband are working screams financial strain. Whether that is due to the economic downturn of recent years, or some other cause, it might be beneficial to speak with a licensed counselor about downsizing your budget so your husband can cut back to 40 hours per week. That will make it possible for him to be there for you more often. Working that much will cause stress for anyone. Stress (emotional or physical) can intensify RA symptoms. At the same time your husband needs relief too. It will probably be a tough road at first, but I can't imagine that either of you can maintain your current situation.

Chronic illness not only affects your family but ALL of your relationships. I can honestly say chronic illness stresses a family to the max and ruins friendships. Loving some one who is ill is so hard because you cannot fix it while on the other hand you resent the illness not the person but it is hard to separate the two. Chronic illness is not for the weak hearted.

Yes getting disability is a huge stressful battle. I have thought about it but financially I can't afford not to have my income while waiting on it to be approved. .

Thanks for your advice Kevin. We have a very complicated situation. My husband owns his own business with a partner. Unfortunately, My husband pretty much runs it himself. He is very stressed at work and then has a very sickly wife. It's really hard for him to understand. I'm seriously thinking about trying for disability. The stress of my job is definitely affecting our home life along with his stress level. We both make excellent money. We would need to make some adjustments but I know we could make it with one income. It's hard to let go of a job I really do enjoy and have been there 20 years. I feel like the stress of my job is not good for me with all the health issues I'm battling. I'm currently on leave due to vertigo of unknown reasons. My family dr has mentioned disability to me and I'm beginning to feel like it is best. That's another battle though.